Cownicles / Two

// The Voyeur

By the time he arrived, there was me and three other guys parking comfortably in the medium sized tub, apart from one another. He said hi, and pulled me in for a long kiss as soon as he was seated next to me. I was thinking this is it, and maybe he liked being watched, or for whatever other reason for choosing the jacuzzi, in the sauna, for our first time, I couldn't care less. I reached under the water for his already hard cock - only to be pushed away by his hand. Again, I was confused and frustrated. Literally what the fuck. As we continued to kiss, the guy to his left moved closer and started to play with his nipple, but Mike never reciprocated, instead he continued kissing me, his right hand on my right nipple. The guy switched to me, reaching under and grabbed my cock. I wanted to let him continue, but I was worried of how Mike would feel about me letting other guys touch me, I decided to push his hand away from my cock. "Suck him" Mike said, in between kisses. I acted out hesitation, but obliged and I went on and suck the other guy. As I continued, I saw him reaching out for something. I looked up and he was holding a condom. Mike had passed him the condom, and he smiled when I turned to look at him. The other guy in the tub was sitting next to him, but again, he showed no sign.

We tried to fuck - but whoever thinks that having jacuzzi sex is hot is a fucking moron. It was uncomfortable as fuck. The condom keeps slipping off, there was no lube, and the swirling water made it almost impossible. After the second condom slipped and his attempt to put on the third one, I told him it's not happening. I suggested that we move to a private room, but Mike insisted on the sauna. As soon as we started fucking again, somebody walked in on us and started watching. Mike was across the room, watching us the entire time. He never participated, or entertained other guys who tried to make a move on him. At that point, I thought my frustration with Mike's behavior has manifested itself that I had completely ignored him. When the second guy came and joined me and the jacuzzi guy, I stopped looking to Mike for permission, I went down on the second guy while I was getting fucked. The first guy came in the condom, and left as soon as he's done. By the time I had my second cock, there was already a crowd in the small sauna. Another couple were having their way directly next to me while Mike watches, stroking his cock underneath his towel. I came shortly after the second guy started fucking, but I did let him finish. "I'm going to wash myself and leave." I told Mike as I walked out of the sauna.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked Mike quietly as I buckled my belt, trying to remain calm. "I thought you enjoyed it." He wiped himself dry with a fresh towel, turning to make eye contact. I did. But I didn't like how I was being set up for this 'thing' - whatever that just happened, as if he had it planned in his head, and lucky for him, he got what he wanted. I wasn't angry, but refused to go home with him, or his offer to send me home. I just needed some time to digest his actions, and I wasn't in the mood for any of his 'talk'.

// The Line

"I'd like to be your partner." He texted later that night. "Not good at this face to face." Another text. There was a million questions running through my head that made answering his question seemed like a difficult task - why has he been so awfully nice to me, but didn't even make the move to have sex with me, why did he let other guys fuck me, and yet wants to be my partner. What the fuck is he doing. 

He called about an hour later to 'talk' when I hadn't replied his text. "So, how do you want to do this?" I asked awkwardly, cutting him halfway through the conversation.  "You know, be my partner, or boyfriend or whatever you want to call it." He answered. I already knew exactly what my answer was when he asked, although I contemplated the possibility of an false alarm, that perhaps the my feelings towards him were because of his looks, but, for the past few weeks, my fondness with Mike had escalated rather quickly into something deeper, something that I was unable to fathom, almost like an obsession to his silent complexity, and he is offering me the opportunity to open up to me and let me walk into his life and explore his mysterious side. "Not saying yes until you decides to fuck me," I said jokingly before I ended the call.

Mike showed up at my door quarter past one in the morning with a pack of condoms and lube in his hand. "Let's do this." He said excitedly. "Not sure if you noticed, I didn't get to cum earlier because you decided to throw a fit and leave." He continued as I quietly let him in. When I said he wasn't the cheesy romantic type, this was perhaps the most romantic gesture he had done in the entire length of our relationship. "I wasn't sure if you were every going to do anything, or plan on cumming, so I had to settle with what I got." I joked. "Touche." Mike did not cum that night. We exchanged the three words for the first time and drifted off to sleep. 

Until then, I never was the one to decide when it comes to relationship, and I had never really thought about how to 'be' in a relationship. He was my third after all, and there are so many things that I don't quite know how to deal with yet. Mike, on the other hand, behaves almost like an alpha, he decides everything, in a reasonably good way, and his experience made me feel quite comfortable to just let him take the wheel, while I enjoy the ride. Mike seemed to be confident about our relationship - in a way it almost frightened me how much has he thought out about our dynamics for every imaginable scenario - that every initial questions that I had was quickly shut down. My understanding of relationship from Dwight was to be monogamous, emotionally and physically, and to me, at the time, was the only way a relationship could work, only to be proved wrong. Relationship could never be one sided, after all it involves another person to call it a relationship. There are many ways to make a relationship work. It all depends on where you draw the line of limitations, somewhere that you know you won't cross, and Mike knew where to draw it, and place it far enough at a place that I have never imagined. Even after what had happened at the sauna, Mike had insisted on us being 'exclusive' - but he wants me (or us) to be honest when it comes to inhibited sexual desires. He told me he would be fine with me having sex with other guys as long as he was there, which he was trying to prove earlier. "I'm old" he laughs "I've done almost everything you can think of." Mike said that I was young, and he didn't want our relationship to stop me from exploring my own desires and he would be fine to act it out with me as long as it's nothing too crazy. But how do you define crazy. Again, I'm starting to flood my head with millions of questions that wouldn't make sense, even if I asked it at that point in time. Some questions can only be answered by experiencing 'it'. So when Mike drew a line that was mutually agreed by us, it  triggered my imagination, to look beyond my own definition of 'relationship'. 

Suddenly an invisible, door had opened for me.

Cownicles: Part One

Cownicles: Part Three: I
Cownicles: Part Three: II 

Cruise Guide | Kelana Jaya Park

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Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Activity: Cruising, Public Sex, Voyeur and Exhibitionism.

Type: Park

Address: Kelana Jaya Park, Next to Kelana Jaya Stadium.

Best Time: Weekdays 1:00am till late (early mornings)

Crowd: All ages, Majority Malays and Indians.

Cruisiest Spots: The abandoned hut, behind the bamboo trees facing the lake, the playground.

Parking: Open Car Park

Safety: The police is aware of this place, and there will be patrol cars making rounds once in a bluemoon. I've heard stories of bashing (reasons unknown) and car being broken into because of the dark carpark, but have never experienced any myself. Look out for the fishermen, riding motorcycle on the footpath along the lake, they are harmless thought I would want to get caught in the act by them. 

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Cruising Guide :

This place is very crowded during Fridays and Saturdays, usually after 1 a.m. until late. However, I'd always avoid weekends. The crowd is big, and a lot of them come with friends, groups of people scattered everywhere, talking or walking together checking out other people. Even if you manage to cruise someone, you'd be interrupted frequently. 

Weekdays have smaller crowds; and I can say most of them are there looking for sex. While the softer/flamboyant usually shows up during weekends to hang out, the discreet ones, although not many come during weekdays.

THE ABANDONED HUT. If you are into totally anonymous sex (where you don't mind whoever your are having sex with), this is where most of the actions happen. This hut has many abandoned rooms where the doors were teared down - works like a dark room or the maze in the sauna, but free of charge. Explore the hut, or just stand still and let people grope you, whichever way you want to play it. Just be vary that because it's so dark in there, sometimes guys like to flick their lighter to see who or what is going in there.

THE BAMBOO TREES AND THE PLAYGROUND. If you prefer to at least have an idea of the guys you want to have sex with, take a stroll along the two main footpath (one towards north, and one towards west) and play your cruising game there. There are plenty of partially hidden spots to play, especially behind the bamboo trees towards the end of the footpath once you successfully find your mating partner.

Cownicles / One

People can surprise you. You get used to thinking of them in one way, stuck in their roles, they are what they are, and then they do something that shows you there's this depth, and dimension that you never knew existed. I have met a lot of people, and I mean a lot in all form and sizes, and while most of the times, these encounters were nothing more than a brief moment of meaningless sex, some of it turned into something more, something that had changed me, for better or worst, to become who I am today. I was never good at relationship, either being in one, or keeping one, but then I don't know if anyone is especially good at it. Up until now, I have properly dated eight guys; four Caucasian, one Singaporean and three local Malaysians; the shortest relationship lasted only two weeks and the longest, three years.

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The first guy I dated was 26 year old Kiwi named Brian, and I was only 18 back then. We've met at the sauna, briefly, exchanging blowjobs, and then exchanging numbers. For next next few days, we have been spending a lot of time together, meeting his friends, and having lots of awkward sex. I was a complete vanilla - I didn't know which felt better, topping, or bottoming. The relationship ended when we saw each other at the same sauna, weeks later. (Though, not in the act with anyone) We never exchanged any words, we had just stopped contacting each other since that night. The thing is I wasn't sorry, or upset, or guilty at all. I wasn't into him. I was just young, and I was excited by the idea of having a boyfriend at the time. I never saw him after, not even the sauna.

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About seven months later, I met Dwight - the 6'1" tall, handsomely pale, 27 year old Aussie flight attendant who was working with Qantas at the time. We had never verbally committed to each other. At the back of my head, I wanted things to work out and I  have been an extremely good boy for the entire 6 months of our relationship. I have never once cheated, avoided the saunas - and all my favorite cruising area all together, and I could only say the same for him. It has always been fun with Dwight, he's quirky, funny, gorgeous, good in conversation and even better in bed (juicy 9" uncut cock, for the record). He was also the first guy that I barebacked with. For the first few months, he'd always use protection, and I never had to ask him to.

The first time it happened, Dwight had just returned from a 5 days working shift to Singapore. I had lubed myself up as soon as I  heard the door opened, laying face down, I had my ass pointed upwards, ready to greet him as soon as he walked in the room. 'I miss you baby,' he said as he dropped his luggage case and came over to play with my hole. Still facing down, I heard him unzip his pants and felt his already hard cock poking softly on my hole. He reached into the drawer, expect to hear him rip the condom wrapper open, but instead, he squeeze the lube on his cock, and some more on my hole and the next thing I know, he was in me. It took him not more than 15 minutes to drive me over the edge - the first time I had cummed without even touching myself. He came minutes later, without warning - no words said, but I felt his cock pulsating, I felt his cum filled my ass. "You okay?" he asked. I nodded, still lying face down and soon drifted off to sleep. We woke up few hours later, and he fucked me again, with his cum still inside me.

My relationship with Dwight ended the same night he told me he's taking a job offer with SIA. We never got into any discussion about the possibility of a long distance relationship because non of us were confident that it would work. I spent the rest of the month with him before he took off to live in Singapore.

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After my relationship with Dwight had ended, I started going back to saunas. And this is where I met my third boyfriend - Mike. We had arrived at the same time, undressed at the same time, and showered next to each other at the same time, exchanging glances along the way. I dried myself off after him to find him sitting at the corner, lighting up a cigarette. 

"Can I offer you a fag". Mike asked, his breathe smelled of alcohol. "I don't smoke, but you go ahead".  I sat down next to him, our knees touched lightly. "I am Michael" I shook his hand and introduced myself. I usually only go to saunas for two reasons; to kill time because I hate getting stuck in rush hour traffic, and secondly - when I'm unusually horny, but with the condition that public cruising areas seemed a less promising option, or that when I'm lazy; in instances such as off peak hours, or being too far away. Tonight, was in between the two. It was a manageable horniness, during rush hour.
  

I don't usually talk to people in the sauna, and, let's face it, I honestly don't think that anyone would go to the sauna to just, talk. But here I am, sitting next to Mike, making small conversation that ended up in an hour long episode of lackluster topics about my home country, my studies and my preferred mode of transportation. The fact is, I wasn't quite bothered about our stalling conversation, or the amount second hand smoke I must have inhaled; I was more perturbed by the thought that maybe he wasn't all that interested to have sex with me; or maybe he was just waiting for me to leave him alone, or,  maybe he was thinking exactly the same thing as I am.

"I am not keeping you from, you know, having fun, am I?". He asked. "And I was about to ask you the same question". He smiled and leaned in for a long kiss. "Let's go back to my place." He said, breaking the kiss. I nodded, smiling inside. I'm already swooned. On the way back to his place, my mind started to picture every imaginable scenario of him fucking me, from the bed to the floor or even the kitchen top to the balcony, if he had one and my initial manageable horniness had escalated into a uncontrollable constant raging boner. To my disappointment, Mike had decided to continue our conversation in his bed while watching BBC news. I was confused by his behavior, a little pissed off at the thought that I have wasted my time. I fucking have morning class tomorrow. I screamed quietly, in my head - conceding to the fact that he has no intention to fuck me.

Mike was, for the lack of a better word, intense. I was severely befuddled by his behavior, be it our age gap, or our racial differences - I couldn't find a common ground, and yet, I am strangely attracted to his complexity. As much as I'd hate comparison, Mike was a completely different character than Dwight. For starters, Mike is older, in many ways wiser, quietly confident that could easily be mistaken for arrogance, and extremely reserved. It took me weeks of silent frustration to coax him out of his shell, to finally reveal something deeper than the surface.

After the forth time meeting Mike that ends up in nothing, I've decided I have had enough of his complexity and I'm just going to cruise at Building 12 after class. I haven't cummed in days because I was keeping it in case he wanted to fuck, I'd be horny enough to satisfy him. Not happening.  There was a message from Mike when my class ended. "Free to meet at wow say 7:30 ?" Wet on Wellington, that's the place we met. "Are we finally going to have sex?" I jokingly texted back, thinking it would be such an unlikely choice for our first time, but I agreed to meet him there at 8 pm instead. "Wait for me at the jacuzzi if it's not crowded" He replied.

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